The "I Live in 1590 Now" Phase
Okay, look. I’ve barely left my apartment in three days. The litter box needed scooping yesterday, and I think I’ve been wearing the same oversized t-shirt since Tuesday. But I couldn't stop. I literally couldn't.
I just finished Shadow of Night, and honestly? I feel like I have jet lag. But, like, time jet lag.
I started this while working on a branding package for a local coffee shop—you know, trying to channel "cozy vibes"—and suddenly I'm deep in Elizabethan London with a vampire and a witch. Twenty-four hours and twenty-five minutes. That is a commitment. That is a relationship. My cats, Frida and Diego, were definitely judging me by hour 18 when I yelled at my monitor because Matthew was being an overprotective alphahole (again).
But here’s the thing: I didn't speed it up. I stayed at 1.0x the whole way. Because you don't speedrun a trip to the 16th century.
Jennifer Ikeda Deserves a Medal (Or At Least a Nap)
Let’s be real for a second—narrating a 24-hour book is an endurance sport. Narrating a book that requires modern American accents, Elizabethan English, French, and whatever else Deborah Harkness threw in there? That’s wizardry.
I read some reviews before I started (I know, I know, spoilers risk, but I have trust issues with narrators), and I saw some people calling Ikeda "robotic" or comparing her to Siri.
Umm... are we listening to the same book?
Because to me, she sounded like pure elegance. Is she precise? Yes. She enunciates like her life depends on it. But robotic? No way. When she does Matthew’s voice—that low, dangerous, velvet tone—I swear I stopped clicking my mouse. My heart did a little flutter thing. (Don't tell my ex). She captures that broodiness perfectly.
And the accents! The distinct voices for the "School of Night" boys? Chef's kiss. It didn't feel like one woman reading a book; it felt like a full cast inside my head. Although, I will admit, sometimes the switch between the crisp narration and the emotive dialogue can be a bit jarring. Like, we go from encyclopedia entry to passionate whisper real quick. But honestly? I dug it.
The Vibes: History Lesson meets Telenovela
Here’s where you need to know yourself as a listener.
If you want fast-paced action where things explode every five minutes, this ain't it. This is a slow burn. Like, molasses in January slow. Deborah Harkness clearly knows her history, and she wants you to know she knows it. We spend a lot of time describing clothes, and alchemy, and political intrigue that went a little over my head while I was trying to focus on kerning fonts.
There were moments—probably around hour 14—where I zoned out. I’ll admit it. I missed a plot point about a map or a book or something because I was thinking about tacos. But the vibes? Immaculate.
It feels like a rainy Sunday for 24 hours straight. It’s cozy, dense, and romantic in that old-school, sweeping way my Abuela would have obsessed over. It’s not just "they kissed." It’s "they defied time and space and navigated the complex politics of Queen Elizabeth’s court to be together." The stakes feel huge, even when they’re just shopping for stockings.
And yes, I cried. Not the Beach Read ugly-cry record (still standing at four times), but I definitely got misty-eyed near the end. The longing? The fear of losing each other in a time that isn't yours? It hits deep.
Is It Worth The 24 Hours?
Look, 24 hours is a lot of life to give to one audio file.
But if you loved A Discovery of Witches, you have to do this. You can't skip it. It’s the bridge. It’s the training montage for Diana. We see her actually learn to use her power instead of just panicking about it.
Just be prepared for the pacing. It drags in the middle. It just does. You’re hanging out in 1590, and sometimes 1590 is boring. But Jennifer Ikeda’s voice is such a warm hug that I didn't mind hanging out there.
My advice? Don't try to binge it in two days like I did unless you want to start speaking in Elizabethan slang to your cats. Take your time. Savor it. It’s a mood piece.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a snack and maybe a history book. Or just stare at the wall and process my emotions. Probably the latter.
