Okay, so I was in the middle of designing a logo for this boutique hotel client—you know, the kind that wants "modern but also vintage but also edgy but also approachable"—and I needed something short and spicy to get through the tedium. At 51 minutes, Punishing Miss Primrose, Part I seemed perfect. Quick listen. Historical setting. Promises of "extreme carnal pleasures" at something called the Inn of the Red Chrysanthemum.
Diego jumped on my keyboard approximately four times during this listen. Frida judged me from the windowsill. Standard afternoon.
The Vibe Check
Look, let's be real about what this is: it's erotica. Short-form, serialized, Regency-era erotica with a revenge plot that's basically foreplay. The Marquess of Carey wants to punish Miss Primrose for something she did to his brother, and his idea of a "set-down" involves luring her to his estate for a week. You can guess where this is going.
And honestly? The setup works. There's something deliciously telenovela about it—Abuela would have clutched her rosary SO hard at this one, but secretly she'd have been into the drama. The power dynamic between Carey and Miss Primrose crackles with that enemies-to-lovers tension I'm a sucker for. She's not some wilting flower; she's described as a "wicked harlot" who apparently holds her own at a pleasure club. I respect that energy.
The problem is it's Part I of a series, so just when things start getting really interesting, it ends. Cliffhanger vibes. Which—fine, that's the business model, but it did leave me feeling a bit like I'd eaten an appetizer and then the restaurant closed.
Em Brown Narrating Em Brown
Here's where it gets interesting: Em Brown wrote this AND narrates it. Author-narrated audiobooks are always a gamble. Sometimes you get the person who knows their characters better than anyone. Sometimes you get someone who maybe should've stuck to writing.
Em Brown falls somewhere in the middle? Her voice has this warm, almost intimate quality that works well for the genre. It's like she's telling you a secret. The pacing is deliberate—some might say slow, but for erotica, I think that's kind of the point. You're not speedrunning this content. You're savoring.
What I couldn't find much info on is how she handles the male voices, specifically the Marquess. Historical romance audiobooks live and die by whether the narrator can pull off a convincing brooding aristocrat. Based on this listen, she keeps things relatively subtle rather than going full dramatic baritone, which I appreciated. Nothing pulls me out of a steamy scene faster than a woman doing a cartoonishly deep "man voice."
The audio quality is clean—no weird background noise or production issues. For a shorter indie audiobook, that's not always guaranteed, so props there.
Who This Is For (And Who Should Skip)
If you're looking for emotional depth and character development that makes you ugly-cry? This ain't it. I did not add to my crying spreadsheet with this one. (Shocking, I know.)
But if you want something quick and steamy for a lunch break listen, or you're into historical erotica with a revenge-seduction premise, this delivers on exactly what it promises. It's a rainy Sunday book—if your rainy Sunday involves, you know, that kind of mood.
Fair warning though: it's really short. Like, barely-an-episode-of-a-podcast short. And it's clearly designed to get you hooked on the series. If that business model annoys you, maybe wait until more parts are out and binge them.
Also, this is explicitly erotica. Not "steamy romance with fade-to-black scenes." If you're not in the market for that, this book is not trying to be subtle about what it is.
The Verdict
This book felt like a perfectly made espresso shot—small, intense, leaves you wanting more. Is that frustrating? A little. But it's also kind of the point with serialized content.
Em Brown's narration is solid for the genre, the historical setting adds a fun layer of forbidden-ness to everything, and Miss Primrose herself seems like she's going to be a worthy match for the Marquess. The chemistry is there. I'm just not sure I'm invested enough to chase down multiple 50-minute installments to see where it goes.
If you're already a fan of Em Brown's writing or you're specifically hunting for short-form historical erotica audiobooks, this is a good pickup. For everyone else? Sample first. See if the vibe clicks before committing to the series.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go explain to my client why their "modern vintage edgy approachable" logo looks like a Pinterest board exploded. Frida is still judging me.
